I promise that I don’t make this stuff up for your entertainment. I’ll admit, I lied my way through high school but I pinky swear this all happens. It’s like an aura of crazy around me.
Just last night I attended a charity benefitting Bear Necessities, a pediatric cancer foundation, at a private home in the Northwest suburbs. As a veteran designer, this is one of the most elegant homes I have ever been in not to mention the closet…heaven! Kudos to the princess of the palace as well as the hired help who furnished this stunning home. A Bucktown boutique, Hunny/SheShe, set up shop in her home and a portion of the proceeds went to the charity. It’s a brilliant concept for housewives to get together and gab, shop + drink of which I partook in all three. But it only takes one crasher to get the hostess hot in her heels.
There we were, a small group of five eating sushi in this gorgeous living room when a woman came and sat down across from us. “Susan” introduced herself and quietly listened to us jabber on a few minutes when she finally poked into the conversation. “Anyone interested in finance or investments? How do you feel about what’s going on with our economy?”. Now anyone who knows me knows full well that the only investments I make are on my feet or in my closet. I leave the sound advice to the big boys in our family thus why I am able to “invest”. I decided that the best defense for awkward was to shove another piece of sushi in my mouth with and give her the “oops-sorry, my mouth is full” face. She pushed a little more to the other ladies who, I love, but who all looked stunned and oddly silent. How did we get from first grade gym class conversation to Suddenly Susan quizzing us about finance and our investments?
I popped up and off to the kitchen leaving the other ladies to fend for themselves. And just as karma would kick me in the tush, I knocked over an entire handbag display and an orchid spilling on the expensive carpet. Nothing like a room full of lovelies looking at ya with soiled carpet beneath you.
After working the room and catching up with the Northwest Lovelies, I see a ring of whispering women in the dining room. How exciting right? Realizing my sister in law is right in there I feel that automatically gives me priority to the hush hush going on and I walk over. Sure enough our awkward Suddenly Susan was a crasher. Somehow she got a hold of an invite and decided it might be a good place to try and hit up the crowd for some cash flow. Now that is some big baubles. She was found out after several vodka cocktails, a few plates of food and claiming to have known the hostess for almost fifteen years! When the princess of the palace got wind she approached her and had her escorted out. There was even a bag check to make sure she was clean before getting kicked out. OMG, so much worse than me knocking over the plant. I did feel horrible for the hostess as she was understandably unnerved with a nut job in her house. But how can you not think of what baubles this woman had to go into an upscale small party in someone’s home not knowing a single sole and living it up? I think she was trying to go on the six degrees of separation theory but got booted out anyway.
In any event, the party was a success and seriously, I went home dreaming about her closet. If the pope were a woman, I purchased the ring she would wear! An old saints charm made into a studded ring that takes up my whole finger. I told Prince Charming that I did it for the kiddies.
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